Social Graces-Start Talking-Start Changing #CuttheCrap #SocialGraces

Kristine Brewer
Apr 11, 2021
4 min read

Updated: Apr 12, 2021

Disclaimer: Images may be disturbing - discretion advised-

I have been waiting a long time to start this process. Social Graces was a concept that was created by my mother Kathleen Brewer. Her sudden passing in November of 2019 has made a huge impact on the direction in which I am taking this site. April is a very important month to me when it comes to domestic abuse awareness. This is just the beginning of something much bigger. My #CuttheCrap campaign in 2019 helped raise over 300$ for the House of Ruth Baltimore. By continuing to share the struggles, stories of survival, overcoming adversity, and justice, I truly believe we can create change. By spreading awareness, giving resources, and giving people true Social Grace we can change this world.

I know some of you reading this now may be struggling in an abusive relationship. Now more than ever in the middle of this pandemic, our homes that are supposed to be our safe haven could be more dangerous than ever. Typically it takes someone 7 attempts to escape from an abusive relationship. When there are children involved the situation could be even worse. During my experience that was the most painful part of it all. Having two small children at the time, they would come home to see my face so bruised and swollen I was sometimes almost unrecognizable. Trying to come up with something that was logical and harmless enough for a child to understand was the hardest thing to do. To see the worry and fear across their little faces. I was supposed to be their protector, so who was going to protect me? Now I am in fear of them getting hurt. Unacceptable.

After almost a year of letting these unacceptable things be acceptable, I got lucky. This was the last drag-out fight of my life. The fight where I saw the light, literally. This time I was in a concussed state after having my head smashed into the brick wall of my apartment building's hallway. The thin walls and the hollow stairwell made my cries echo from the basement to the top floor. At that point, everyone in the building had been awoken by the sounds of what could have been the end of me. He climbed on top of me as I was on the staircase and he put his hands around my throat. One hand on his chest, the other in my pocket hitting the emergency button for 911. At that moment everything was white. No more noise, no more anger, nothing.

Quickly I feel a heat rush to my face and a rapid force pulls me up. Officers are all around me and he is gone. 6 people in my building called to police. It took them 4 minutes to get to me. They were able to witness the assault in progress so at that point it was the State against my abuser. The officers at the scene were the same officers who have had to come to my aid before, but I was too afraid to leave. I was too afraid of what could happen if nothing happened. I was taken to the hospital that night with too many injuries to count. I lost hearing on my left side due to the assault. The biggest thing I lost at that point was myself and my strength to carry on. No person in the world should ever be able to do that to you. I was showing my children this type of behavior was okay. I was making excuses for how and why it could keep going.

If I would have known this person had a dangerous past before I would have thought twice, It was not something that developed overnight and it is not something that will just go away either. After taking all the appropriate actions my abuser was sentenced and served time. Unfortunately, in the world we live in dangerous offenders slip through the cracks and are allowed to roam free and go on to do the same to others. My message to you, if you or someone you love has been in an abusive relationship, or has knowledge of child neglect and abuse, do not be afraid to speak out. Tell your story, warn people about people. You can do everything in the world to try and keep the ones you love safe but If you know something, say something. Knowledge is power and by keeping secrets you help keep people sick. Looking back years later, of course, I would change many things. I do know that these things happened so that maybe I can help just one person by knowing that you are not alone and you can get out!

#CuttheCrap #SocialGraces

IF YOU NEED HELP NOW- Here are some local resources you can contact. Do not wait until it's too late. YOU can be the one to put an end to something awful. Just be brave

AND ALWAYS IF YOU ARE IN AN EMERGENCY CALL 911